A cat skateboarding through Yosemite. Dogs at a picnic. Pumpkins carving each other's faces. A sexy man in a swimming pool caressing a large frog. A cat kneading bread. A cowboy beholding a space whale.

Retro babes in sunglasses. Gangsta racoons. Ancient alien Santa Claus. Double-ended dinosaurs romping through Central Park, changing their number of legs mid-stride. Gangsta chameleon. First World War French Army capybara. Cleopatra balcony selfie. Cat cooking soup.

I do not know what to say about Vibes, Meta's new TikTok-style infinite feed of purely AI-generated videos set to random snatches of pop music. It defies description, because it is orthogonal to the very concept and purpose of words.

Instead, I will instead try to communicate the experience of using this feature (accessible through the Meta AI app) by quoting from descriptions of videos I have watched.

Classic style, lean Caucasion man (30s). Luxurious Minimalism, Soft Focus. suburban backyard birthday party with balloons. --sref 11705481 1171175026 --chaos 33 --stylize 200. The immediate foreground is dominated by the powerful jet ski, expertly navigated. Energetic empowering vibe. Motion-blurred, luminous warmth, no watermarks or text overlays. contemplative serene solitude.

But first? The headlines.

--sref 3367032302 majestic horse galloping

The corgi's rump subtly sways and jiggles with a rhythmic, joyful bounce. --chaos 22. Rendered in cozy cottagecore. Concurrently, a small sailboat. Their bodies gently sway. A hyper-realistic, wide-angle, ultra-low angle tracking shot. anthropomorphic mouse in suit, breakdancing. --sref 1469891190 1184755733 --sw 870 white unicorn with long hair playing charades.

Hyperdetailed high quality art. Wearing tiny spectacles and a tweed vest. Warm golden hour light. --raw; city park with winding paths and trees. Celine Dion - All By Myself. Whimsical, soft focus style, daytime, interior, a fluffy. Brow raised, intently reading. --sref 3367032302 majestic horse galloping. liquid scan lines into reflective lakes. peaceful pastoral vibe.

(to be clear, all of these videos are posted on Vibes by human users, after being generated by Meta AI in response to their prompts. you too can prompt the AI to make new videos, but honestly it's a frustrating experience. the output is often painfully generic and frequently unrelated to what you asked for. it seems to 'cluster' around certain strong aesthetics, ignoring inconvenient details of your prompt in favour of its own inscrutable script.)

The scene unfolds at an exclusive ivy league tennis club. Pastel, cheerful; Quiet confidence. realistic serene mood. --sref 856747455 Skiro SAGISU, Yoko Takahashi - FLY ME TO THE MOON (YOKO TAKAHASHI Acid Bossa Version). Frozen in a tableau of old-money sophistication. romantic, calm, 4k. Beings & Creatures.

minimal studio backdrop DSLR style cinematic depth of field; confident creative stylish vibe. through a soft, atmospheric haze. in the style of GoPro SnorriCam footage. in the hazy, sun-kissed distance. overlooking a vast bioluminescent Chrono-Metropolis. a colossal, ancient Greek statue. unearthly fairytale dreamy melancholic atmosphere -- sref 1502099780 7817775677. two owls fencing. waterfall flowing upwards.

(conspicuously, you cannot make the AI do any kind of cutting between different scenes or shots. at least not yet. how it works is that you generate a static picture and then ask the AI to animate it. consequently, every video is basically a single picture playing a kind of looping idle animation. this makes the whole thing feel very staid and samey.)

Holly Da 27 expressive green eyes wavy red highlighted hair. In the style of painterly hyperrealism. pensive East Asian woman hunched. on a sage boucle armchair. in silver dress of thousands of glowing butterflies land and flutter smoothly; glassy white room with neutral background Vogue fashion set. Shallow depth. Minimalist fashion editorial context; intimate modern luxury vibe; open road freedom, cinematic; effortlessly chic.

(am I making this sound exciting? it's not. it's interesting if you happen to be an insane person like me who is interested by surreal debacles. and obviously on some level it’s wild that this technology even exists. but while in theory many videos are conceptually intriguing or cute, in practice they are so anodyne and pointless and charmless that it punches right through ‘hurts’ into some kind of blank white infinite space beyond pain and pleasure. these videos mean nothing and say nothing and have no reason to exist beyond filling up a feed, and yet I feel like the entire history of the internet has been leading up to this moment. it is at once incomprehensible and inevitable. it is the final form of Content.)

4k; pink-blue neon, shallow DOF. Captured as a first-person perspective selfie photograph. porcelain skin applies 'Dawn Petal' Aura-Gloss to lower lip. Vast open clouds and distant horizon. animated 4.2s high motion. Luxurious modern mansion living room interior. Cluttered with open textbooks and empty coffee mugs. 35mm analogue photography, soft focus, timeless elegance style, golden hour. @magicalpets. @funnyvoiceover. @weirdmusicvideos. @gaslit_portraits.

(when I showed my housemate the Vibes feed, they said "oh sure. my sister sends me these kinds of videos all the time." I was incredulous. "yeah!" they said. "like she'll send me a video of some animal that's related to my starsign jumping out of a flower made out of my birthstone. and I'm just like, 'okay…'")

main female leads fast K-POP routine with sharp arms steps spins fluid body rolls point-move. spiralling luminescent sugar crystal beach meeting golden vanilla bean nectar sea, living cocoa bloom waves. Wide Establishing Shot of three Luminaries in precise triangle, eyes piercing steam, emerging from Aether-Forge's grimy core maw. --chaos 33 --stylize 200. everyday funny --sref 301751281. ssref 3926686054 --sref 3273186443 -chaos 33 --chaos 22 --chaos 33 --stylize 200. spiral falling crystal, perpetual golden hour.

(that's all I can really say to the videos on Vibes. “Okay……….”)

Sketch of the week

pencil sketch on unlined notebook. rough semi realistic style colour adjusted scan. four women sitting by path beside lake merritt oakland california. apartment buildings reflected in water, silhouettes of joggers and walkers. freckles sunglasses blurred faces sunhats idyllic waterside sunday afternoon chill peaceful vibes trending on artstation.

Thanks for reading! As always, you can find me on Bluesky here, on X here, and read my recent stories for The Independent here.